First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
