Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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