You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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