Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
