No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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