I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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