based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
