please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
