I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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