Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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