I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
