why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
