Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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