Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I am mentally ready for anal.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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