i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is it penis luge time yet?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
