I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
