From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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