I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
false alarm. still invincible.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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