you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
