There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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