she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
