thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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