He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
