my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
