so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
