you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
