yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
