made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
