they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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