How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
