i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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