The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
