Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
