a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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