That's intense
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
