Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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