Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
