so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
