he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
