I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
