I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
