Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
