Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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