She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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