scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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