i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
