Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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