Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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