My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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