Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
