Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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