Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
