i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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