Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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