You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
my poor anus
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
