And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
