im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
