Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
