It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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