Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
