You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
