she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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